True Love

I can't sleep so I am blogging a thought I just shared with a friend. It is a thought my sister shared with me this past week on love. I hope it speaks to you like it did to me.

My sister and I were talking about relationships this past week and the sometimes unhealthy "in love" feelings we can have for a man. Of course we all know that the Bible teaches us to put our love and devotion to God first, our husband second and our children/family/friends third. How many of us have really sat and thought this one through??

I know this is a complex thought when just blurted out there like I have above, so I would like to break it down the way my sister did.

First of all, God wants us to love our husbands. He wants us to follow our spouse and allow him to lead our family unit through faith, finances and daily decisions. While we are to love our husband and follow our husband we are not to allow our husband to control our devotion. When we try to take the steering wheel of our life away from God and give it to our husband, to man.....it is disastrous.

While we are to follow our husbands leadership I am reminded of what my mom would always tell me about peer pressure "If they jumped off a bridge would you do it?" We are to follow our husbands as long as their path is pleasing to God and follows His commands. Ultimately God is to be in control.

When we forget that God is in control we begin to rely on our husband to fix everything, answer every problem, love every fiber of our being. That is putting a lot of pressure on our spouse! That is not allowing him to be the man God wants him to be because he is too focused on striving for perfection. We are setting our spouse and ourselves up for failure.

Secondly our whole love is for God. It is only right, only healthy that our aching love, the love that comes with painful yearning and desire to please be protected and set aside for Him. God is our Heavenly husband. We are to desire to please Him and love Him with every fiber of our being.  Our actions should reflect that devotion and love.

After we have given of ourselves and our hearts to the Lord, then it is right to give our love to our husbands; and only in a married union that is built upon the Rock. Only then will our need to please our husband be healthy because our need to follow Christ is already being met.

Only then can we realize what a healthy union and devotion to our earthly mate should really and truly be. Only then can our false expectations of our relationships with men be put to rest. Only then can God begin to work within us to be His light to the world and an encouragement to our husbands.

My sister said, "The song says but that's not true. You need more than that and it was always intended to be more than that." Once we have God and our love for Him is right, then our devotion to our husbands will fall into place.

I hope this helps someone out there. It really struck me after we hung up how many times I am more worried about whether Soapy is happy; if I am making him happy, if I am pleasing him. I realize from time to time how I have been more worried about his approval instead of His approval; times I lean to Soapy for comfort and protection instead of my Heavenly Father. That is not healthy and is something I need to fix. It results in disappointment that Soapy couldn't live up to my expectations but how could he? That isn't fair to desire him to take the hole that was only meant to be filled by God.

Tonight I am going to pray God helps me preserve that hole just for Him. Tonight I will sleep well knowing God's arms are around me instead of feeling the "need" for my husbands' arms around me to keep me safe.

How Soapy popped "The Question"

So a friend of mine Mama M. came up with this great idea of a week  long recount for Valentines Day. Today is about how your man popped the question! It looks like fun so visit her blog for all the details and to link up with your own story! Enjoy!

Well, poor thing, the story to follow didn't turn out ANY way close to what he had planned. In his defense, he had put a lot of thought into the wonderful moment until....the Navy stepped in.....

Ok, so right before Valentines Day, I rented a duplex (knowing that sometime soon I knew I would not be the only one living there). I had found a replicaj model '67 Camero convertible. Soapy had told me how much he would love one so I bought this model and put it all together and had been working on it for several weeks. Due to drug use by his roommate on base, he had started moving some things over to my place since he spent more time there than he did with his roomie.

He told me that he was taking me to dinner downtown Charleston, SC for Valentines Day. We were not getting to spend much time together at that point because I was finishing my last year of school and he was working shift work. I was totally excited for our date just to spend time with him but I also knew it would be a perfect opportunity for him to ask me to marry him.

I was all ready for our date, he was going to be off watch and picking me up about 7:30....at 8:45 I am getting a call that he still has not left yet. The guy that was supposed to releave his watch had not shown up. At 9:30 he finally was there and was exhausted. He came in and asked me if I even wanted to go or just stay in and watch a movie. We had missed our reservations at one of the most prestigious restaurants in town.

I was internally bummed as I felt that he wasn't going to ask and part of me wanted to just give up but decided to go out anyways. We went downtown to a greek restaurant/pub. Totally NOT romantic in any way, I was in a sweatshirt and jeans if I remember correctly. We ran into some friends as we were leaving and one asked if he was ever going to ask me to marry him and he just laughed.

We went for our walk down the Battery as we always did and walked to the gazebo. This gazebo was a special place for me. It is where my dad re-enlisted each time while he was in the Navy. I had dreamt as a little girl that I would say my vows under it and as a little girl loved to dance around on it like I was a princess. It was nearly midnight and very dark. As we were talking about how I wanted to get married there some day he got down on one knee. He opened a box and there was a ring!!!  A policeman on a side street must have seen what he was doing and started flashing his brites and top lights, it was so sweet. As we walked back down the Battery some kids on the other side of the wall were shooting off fireworks. Someone had put fireworks there just  for  me (haha)!

Later he admitted to how detailed the original plan was. He had made a special menu at the restaurant for me to read as they presented champagne and the ring. It was going to be the most romantic thing he has ever done. Instead, I almost found the ring rolled up in a sweatshirt he left at my place, we went out in jeans and sweatshirts because "we might as well" and then everything turned out perfectly!

A Thankful Heart

I am in such awe and admiration of our God right now! Today was just another day for most but for the McKinney family it was a day filled with miracles and proof that our God is a Mighty God! Stellan and his mom headed for Boston late last week to begin the process of a possible (but inevitable) heart surgery that was scheduled for tomorrow morning. After Sunday early afternoon, it was obvious this procedure would have to be done and soon. Today was an unimaginably hard day for both Stellan and his parents. His mom, Jennifer, sat and watched as he struggled to hold on and at one point flat lined. He was in need of a miracle. Tonight, God gave him that miracle. His doctors were faced with having to sacrifice a vital part of his heart that would have required a permanant pacemaker when one of them had a risky idea. They went with it and it worked!!!!
Stellan is SVT free!! He is beating in normal sinus rythm and did not need a pacemaker. Upon reading this news I cried! I cried and thanked God for the miraculous work He performed today and for letting His will be for Stellan to live. His dad has finally been able to make it to Boston to be with him and Jennifer after having struggles of his own at the airports. They are together and I am so thankful!

This news makes me so thankful for my family. For the overall health that we have. Thankful that God has taken care of Braedon this week as he had the swine flu and had an exceptionally high fever for several days. Thankful that so far, no one else has caught it. Thankful that his respiratory problems, while they sound bad, have not caused him to develop pneumonia. I am thankful.

I am also thankful to Jennifer, for her faith. I don't know how she does it but I want to have faith that strong. I love my Lord and feel very strong in my faith but I am encouraged by Jennifer's ability to let go and let God take control. She was able to let Him have Stellan, no matter what the outcome was to be and she was ok with that. Of course she wanted her baby back in her arms but she realized that God's plan may not be her plan. I have learned so much from her and through their struggles with Stellan's SVT, I have grown closer to God and strengthened my relationship with Him. Thank you Jennifer!

Last, I am thankful for my husband and the life he works so hard to provide for us. His job is not the best and the sacrifice he makes of not being home is often very hard. We are searching and waiting on God to bless us with a job that will allow Soapy to stay home with us. For now though, we are thankful for the time we do get together. I am thankful that God has helped us grow through A LOT of struggles in our marriage; without Him we would surely have ended in divorce. We have a lot of growing to do still and things that we need to work through, but thanks to our Heavenly Father, I know we will make it and come out stronger and closer than we could ever have imagined we would be.

So tonight, in honor of Stellan, I am thankful. I have a thankful heart for all of my blessings, all of my weaknesses that provide me an opportunity for growth, for all of my family and friends, and for my God. Without Him, none of this would be possible.

Goodnight! :)