True Love

I can't sleep so I am blogging a thought I just shared with a friend. It is a thought my sister shared with me this past week on love. I hope it speaks to you like it did to me.

My sister and I were talking about relationships this past week and the sometimes unhealthy "in love" feelings we can have for a man. Of course we all know that the Bible teaches us to put our love and devotion to God first, our husband second and our children/family/friends third. How many of us have really sat and thought this one through??

I know this is a complex thought when just blurted out there like I have above, so I would like to break it down the way my sister did.

First of all, God wants us to love our husbands. He wants us to follow our spouse and allow him to lead our family unit through faith, finances and daily decisions. While we are to love our husband and follow our husband we are not to allow our husband to control our devotion. When we try to take the steering wheel of our life away from God and give it to our husband, to man.....it is disastrous.

While we are to follow our husbands leadership I am reminded of what my mom would always tell me about peer pressure "If they jumped off a bridge would you do it?" We are to follow our husbands as long as their path is pleasing to God and follows His commands. Ultimately God is to be in control.

When we forget that God is in control we begin to rely on our husband to fix everything, answer every problem, love every fiber of our being. That is putting a lot of pressure on our spouse! That is not allowing him to be the man God wants him to be because he is too focused on striving for perfection. We are setting our spouse and ourselves up for failure.

Secondly our whole love is for God. It is only right, only healthy that our aching love, the love that comes with painful yearning and desire to please be protected and set aside for Him. God is our Heavenly husband. We are to desire to please Him and love Him with every fiber of our being.  Our actions should reflect that devotion and love.

After we have given of ourselves and our hearts to the Lord, then it is right to give our love to our husbands; and only in a married union that is built upon the Rock. Only then will our need to please our husband be healthy because our need to follow Christ is already being met.

Only then can we realize what a healthy union and devotion to our earthly mate should really and truly be. Only then can our false expectations of our relationships with men be put to rest. Only then can God begin to work within us to be His light to the world and an encouragement to our husbands.

My sister said, "The song says but that's not true. You need more than that and it was always intended to be more than that." Once we have God and our love for Him is right, then our devotion to our husbands will fall into place.

I hope this helps someone out there. It really struck me after we hung up how many times I am more worried about whether Soapy is happy; if I am making him happy, if I am pleasing him. I realize from time to time how I have been more worried about his approval instead of His approval; times I lean to Soapy for comfort and protection instead of my Heavenly Father. That is not healthy and is something I need to fix. It results in disappointment that Soapy couldn't live up to my expectations but how could he? That isn't fair to desire him to take the hole that was only meant to be filled by God.

Tonight I am going to pray God helps me preserve that hole just for Him. Tonight I will sleep well knowing God's arms are around me instead of feeling the "need" for my husbands' arms around me to keep me safe.

Simple Post

My Abba,

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

That is all.

Love,

Me :)

Praising God Tonight

Sorry for the few day absence of updates.

MOM IS HOME!!!

The doctors discharged her tonight and my dad was able to bring her home. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that she began to turn the corner suddenly. The specialist came in Tuesday and layed it on the line how she was most likely going to lose her colon or worse. I think it sparked a sense of urgency in her to pull herself up and just do it!

They can't re-test her level of infection for another 2 weeks and they can't really get a good read right now of the effects this has had on her colon long term but for right now her colon is beginning to function again! They were able to wean her off of the iv's last night so today she did everything by mouth.

She has VERY strict instructions to stay in bed, relax and rest; to eat and take the new antibiotic they have her on (which is severely more potent than the last and she's on a double dose of it each day) and be careful around others. She is not in total isolation but if symptoms return she is to head back in, she is to be very careful washing and contact with others (That they then go wash as well).

Thank you to everyone who has been praying. I ask that you continue to pray for her recovery and that the lasting effects would not be severe. There was concern over the infection spreading and the amount of infection becoming cancerous later. Her risk of getting this again now is astronomically great! If she were to catch this again, she would not be so lucky as she was this time.

Thanks everyone, God Bless you all and goodnight! :)

Urgent Prayers Needed

Please pray for my mom. The specialists pulled my Dad aside this morning to explain the severity of the situation. It was explained during rounds to my mom that she needs to eat so the nutrition can begin to clean out her colon. They've told her so far that her body has not responded to the antibiotics so they will be doubling up on her amount. They told her it's important to eat or she could end up having surgery on her colon.

***Translated to my Dad: We are increasing her doses of antibiotics because she hasn't responded in 48 hours. She NEEDS to eat immediately and frequently to have any chance at getting better. If she doesn't she will lose her colon entirely. There is a lot of infection in the descending colon that could spread and if not successfully removed could turn cancerous. This is serious!

We have to try to keep her calm and relaxed. She needs to rest and she needs to eat through the pain she will experience with eating. She has to or it is going to drastically change her life. They haven't told her all of the facts because they don't want to scare her yet and have her upset and worried to the point of doing more harm than good.

I am scared. I won't lie. I just lost my grandfather this past week. I couldn't be there. I can't be with my mom because she is highly contagious and I have to be careful not to spread it to the kids. My sister and I have had this horrible intuition that something is wrong. We are trying to pray through those feelings and not let Satan take over our running our imaginations wild.

Please just pray.

Quick Prayer Request

My mom went into the hospital last night. Saturday she and my dad flew back from Arizona, my grandpa passed away and was buried Saturday morning. While it may seem harsh that they would fly out that afternoon, my mom has been very sick for a long time and has been putting off going to the doctor due to her parents' health.

She has spent the entire last two weeks mostly in the bathroom (a very constant occurrence) and has not been able to keep anything down. Sunday afternoon (they got in at 3:30 am) my dad had her at the ER where they admitted her. After a CT scan, blood and stool samples were taken, it was discovered that she is suffering from a combination of things: Irritable Bowel Disease (which I have found is worse than IBS), ulcerate colitis (or something medical like that), and C diff (a bacterial infection of the colon).

The C diff infection is quite progressed and unfortunately part of the treatment she has unknowingly been doing for the last two weeks without any improvement. She is to be on a mostly liquid diet consisting of items higher in sugar and sodium; no dairy or solid foods of any kind. She can have chicken broth and a small amount of rice but the bouillon cubes won't stay down.

This afternoon they were optimistic that even though she has apparently had this highly contagious infection for a while she was getting better. This evening things have taken a sharp turn downward and they are preparing a mix of narcotics partly to relieve her pain and partly to knock her out a bit.

C diff is highly contagious; I cannot go down there and risk bringing it back to the kids. Due to her autoimmune disorders (which are advanced) her body will definitely have a much harder time recovering. Right now they are just hoping she starts to turn the corner which is not guaranteed with the advanced state of the infection and all the other circumstances.

Please pray for my family. There has been so much sadness and loss the last month. We are all so emotionally exhausted. Please pray that God would put His healing hand on my mother and take this infection away. Please pray that my dad doesn't get it since he is there with her and that the rest of us stay clean of it too. Please pray for a safe return for my husband from work this week because I just don't think I can take much more growing and stretching.

Back To School

Only this time it is by choice and for something fun!!

On March 14th I will be taking a photography class of sorts with a wonderful friend of mine Kristi heading up the entire event! Between now and then we will be given assignments to complete and post to our group; of course I will post them here and over the next few weeks we can see how my skills evolve. I am so excited and charged for this project!

I love to take pictures; I always have. Even in college when I only had a P&S I would play with any setting I possibly had control over just to see what I could create. I have taken some pictures for friends along the way for fun and some to help capture memories of events. This past Christmas I had two "clients" that graciously let me play around with my camera while using their families as my subject material. I got a lot of great shots (some nightmare shots too) and learned tons.

The rough thing is, some of the things I am learning, I am not quite sure why they give the effects they do. I am hoping to answer some of these questions over the next few weeks. I need to start keeping a journal of every picture I take between now and then, what settings I used and questions I have about the outcome. This will really help organize my questions for class.

Sit tight and come back over the next few weeks to see all of the art I capture!

'Night!

PS-If there is anyone out there who would like to give me some practice let me know! I am always looking for volunteers. :)

Mondays, I don't care for you!

Alternatively titled "My Not Me Monday"

I did NOT watch in slow motion as my son flushed a whole roll of toilet paper down the toilet this morning.
It most certainly was NOT in the master bathroom where I have forgotten several times to grab the plunger before heading upstairs to hide get ready to leave.

I did not lose half of my daughter's homework last night including her book orders and science club permission slip.
I of course am still not a loser parent and can't find them found them right away.

I did not let my son run around with a random stick in between his legs, or pour color crayons all over the floor, or nearly undress himself just so I could take ballet this morning. Not me, no my children behave and are well mannered. They always sit still and entertain themselves quietly while Mommy is working.

I did not then put my son in the car and let him fall asleep from which I immediately put him to bed once we got home without changing his diaper just so I could have 30 minutes to clean before needing to head out again.

I did not take said soundly sleeping son and carry him to the car and buckle him in. Only once buckled and still soundly sleeping realize the smell and dampness was not sweat but urine on his jeans. I did not then put clean clothes into the car and wait to change him once at the school because I was running late to teach.

I did not arrive at the school and attempt to change him in his seat.
I did not pick him up to move him to the front where there was more room and immediately lock my keys (both sets mind you) in the car.

I did not bribe my son to sit quietly and watch while I taught 16 little girls how to be  ballerinas. I would never wait to give him his lunch until we arrived at the school so he would sit and eat instead of run loose  like the wild 2 year old that he is.

I did not just let my son sit at his bedroom door and cry on and off for the last 45 minutes (he fell asleep before I started this post, I checked) while I worked on Partylite to try and break him of his late night parties he recently seems to love. (How do you get a child to go back to bed on time after being sick...especially when they are sick every other week!?)

I think that pretty much sums up what I did not do today. What did you not do?? :)