Thursday, August 20, 2009

First Week down!

So Monkey's first week of school is almost over! She has really had a great time and I am amazed at what she has learned in only two days. It is so wonderful and exciting to see her growing up and making friends, it's also sad to know she's growing up and won't be Mommy's little girl as she once was. It's all part of life though!

So is our future endevors. This time next week we will know where we will be living and where Soapy will be working. Today was especially hard for me to come to grips with the fact that the outcome of his bidding process at work is going to take us back to Texas. We cleaned out the storage shed today. I know that doesn't sound exciting or traumatic but it was in a way. I had to go through things of Monkeys that she is no longer interested in or newborn and maternity clothes that I will never be able to use again. I got a call from my dance instructor about meeting to go over the next semester of dance at the studio. I teach for her and she really does not want me to leave.
I am realizing that I am two weeks away from a major change and I don't do well as major changes approach. My dad tonight gave me a hug and kiss and all I could think to do after that was sit down at his piano and just "touch" the keys. I didn't play them, no I just sat and ran my fingers across the smooth, worn keys that my dad, grandfather and great grandmother once played. It allowed me to be close to them all and I am truly afraid to leave my dad for fear of another heart attack hitting him. We had such plans of how to make up for lost time in our relationship. We tried and I have to say we are closer and got to do special things between the two of us that I will cherish but there just doesn't seem to be enough time. There are too many things that I wanted to do with him, that I wanted to do with my mom, that I wanted my husband and I to do with the kids here. I am not ready to leave. I am not ready for the increased stress that awaits us once we move.

I am just not ready for any of this, the move, leaving my family again, moving back to more stress and I most certainly am not ready for my daughter to turn 5 and be in school or my son to nearly approach his 9 month mark next week. I am just not ready, but I know God will help me get through it and be ready as long as I stay focused on Him. Please let me stay focused on You!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

School Days

School days, School days.....Well I am about to embark on a new journey with my daughter. Next Tuesday she starts KINDERGARDEN!!!!!!! I can't believe it! Since when did she get to be 5? When did I tell her she was allowed to grow up and start school. I told my husband as we shopped for school clothes that before we knew it we would be shopping for the undergarments that were hanging next to us. He was not happy.
I took Monkey to the school this morning to see if we could meet her teacher. They don't have her class assignment yet but we were able to see the front office and I left a number and message for the school councelor to discuss her anxiety. She walked away pretty excited though. She found the nurses station (just like I told her there would know, in the event she needs a bandaid). We also found out that...wait for it........wait for it.......... WAIT FOR IT..............

I know this is probably not a huge headline but for a mom and daughter that have been seperated very little in her life, this was great news to both of us. She was relieved that her first day she won't be alone and I was relieved that her first day I would not be all alone without her. Plus, it's only 2 hours the first day, 4 hours the second day and then after that she is full time....6 1/2 hours!!!
I think this will be a great transition time for us. It will also save me from buying every lunch box item I can find at the grocery store just to make going to school fun and loaded with surprises during the day....I went a little overboard. Oh well!

So, we will make it through this new adventure. I will more than likely find a few new grey hairs and hold onto her a little longer while we snuggle and read her Princess Devotion book. Gone are the days of complete innosense and carefree little girl is growing up. :)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Not Me Monday"/>

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So this has been an eventful week! It did not begin with me trying...scratch that...desperately attempting to get an adjustment at my chiropractors with my eighth month old sitting on my stomach. I did not feed him puff cereal throughout the time I was there just to keep him from screaming.

I did not later in the week use baby wipes to bathe me and my two precious children because I was too tired to bend over the side of the bathtub and try to convince my son that eating bubbles really is not a good idea.

I most certainly did not let my son crawl around the public park in his birthday suit because we ran out of diapers and didn't have the heart to tell my daughter we had to leave. I certainly did not watch him as he pulled grass out of the ground and stick it in his mouth....and not do anything about it because he was happy. Above all I did not let my daughter take off her socks and shoes and run around the duck pond all over the duck feces or use her tennis shoes to scoop up sand and throw it all over the merry-go-round. I always keep my children clean, freshly dressed and pressed, never to I let them behave like this....NOT ME!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

He is SO Wonderful

God is so amazing! Yesterday Stellan went home; a week ago the doctors weren't sure how to reverse what looked like a very serious situation, the family had been called in and my heart broke for him and his family. Not only was his recovery so miraculous, but I am so in awe at how God works to bring people together. I know my eyes were opened.

I have been praying, not quite as faithfully as I should or want to, but I have been praying. I have prayed that God would direct me to His path for me. Not for my family or for my husband or for us together, but for MY calling. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom and being able to stay at home with my children teaching them and loving on them but I have still felt incomplete. I have a feeling of emptiness inside my heart that I know is meant to be filled by God. My dad and I were doing a bible study and the subject of his study said that he knew at the end of his life that he had nothing left to give, nothing left to do for the Lord. He knew that he had followed God's calling for him and had reached out whenever he had an opportunity and touched others with God's love. I WANT THAT!!!!!! I want to know at the end of my life that I have done everything I could for God. That I resembled Him to others.

I have been searching for how to serve God. I love children and want to help with them. Through Stellan's story I have decided to volunteer at the Children's Hospital and the NICU here in town. Our family has been touched by both of these places and I want to give back to them. I am also searching out ways to help with women who have suffered miscarriages and also how to help with adoption agencies or orphanages.

As this past week progressed I saw how many people were praying for Stellan and his family. I saw how his journey spurred me to become more faithful in my time with God. I look forward to my time with Him, reading, praying, just sitting quietly. It's been great and I have been amazed at how many people God touched through Stellan's struggles this week.

He is truly truly wonderful!!!!!