Mondays, I don't care for you!

Alternatively titled "My Not Me Monday"

I did NOT watch in slow motion as my son flushed a whole roll of toilet paper down the toilet this morning.
It most certainly was NOT in the master bathroom where I have forgotten several times to grab the plunger before heading upstairs to hide get ready to leave.

I did not lose half of my daughter's homework last night including her book orders and science club permission slip.
I of course am still not a loser parent and can't find them found them right away.

I did not let my son run around with a random stick in between his legs, or pour color crayons all over the floor, or nearly undress himself just so I could take ballet this morning. Not me, no my children behave and are well mannered. They always sit still and entertain themselves quietly while Mommy is working.

I did not then put my son in the car and let him fall asleep from which I immediately put him to bed once we got home without changing his diaper just so I could have 30 minutes to clean before needing to head out again.

I did not take said soundly sleeping son and carry him to the car and buckle him in. Only once buckled and still soundly sleeping realize the smell and dampness was not sweat but urine on his jeans. I did not then put clean clothes into the car and wait to change him once at the school because I was running late to teach.

I did not arrive at the school and attempt to change him in his seat.
I did not pick him up to move him to the front where there was more room and immediately lock my keys (both sets mind you) in the car.

I did not bribe my son to sit quietly and watch while I taught 16 little girls how to be  ballerinas. I would never wait to give him his lunch until we arrived at the school so he would sit and eat instead of run loose  like the wild 2 year old that he is.

I did not just let my son sit at his bedroom door and cry on and off for the last 45 minutes (he fell asleep before I started this post, I checked) while I worked on Partylite to try and break him of his late night parties he recently seems to love. (How do you get a child to go back to bed on time after being sick...especially when they are sick every other week!?)

I think that pretty much sums up what I did not do today. What did you not do?? :)