Today I took Caileigh out on her bike to learn how to ride without training wheels. I took the training wheels off before we started and we rode around in front of the house. After dance we went up to the school and went in the grass (dead mind you...it's still winter here) and Papa soon met us to help work his "magic".
We could only ride for about 20 minutes because of the setting sun and the cold temperatures quickly coming. After she broke into tears...I think her limits were pushed a bit (that's good for her as she would not push her own limits for fear of failing) and her hands frozen, Papa decided it was time to head home for tonight and try again tomorrow. Just as they were coming to the end of the grass, he let go. "I want to stop, I want to stop!" is all we heard as she continued to ride straight ALL. BY. HERSELF!!!!!!!! She rode about 15 feet alone and then was ready to stop. Wouldn't you know at this point I had already put the camera away and in the car so I could help load up the kids and bikes.
There's always tomorrow! :)
Braedon is giving me the worst time lately. I don't know if it's a growth spurt, stress from all the loss lately and Mommy's reflected stress from all the loss or just a horrible case of terrible twos. FYI--If you have a 2 year old and they have not hit their terrible twos, I have extra for you to come pick up!
I just don't know how to handle him. Tomorrow I am calling a pediatric behavioral therapist. She is supposed to be really good, highly recommended. I just don't know how to discipline him and after yesterday, I think he was out of time out for a whole hour collectively! He's screaming, biting, hitting, throwing himself on the floor, throwing things (anything in reach), telling me "no" ALL the time, running when I ask him to come to me. I have been told to make him stay in his room all day, spank his bottom if the time out and warnings don't work, bite him back (coming from friends and a ped doctor), speak loudly and forcefully telling him "no"......
Most of the above practices sound horrible to me, logically don't work and others I have tried don't work. His aggression and impatience is growing. There has to be a way to handle this. Caileigh was never like this; she was and still is a mental button pusher. She will argue a point until she's blue in the face but never screamed, hit or bit. I don't want to make matters worse and with Soapy's schedule, I need to know how to handle this alone.
It breaks my heart to be stern. He is my last one, my last baby here on earth. I don't want to ruin that or lose it too soon. I just don't know what to do to help him or improve his way of expressing himself.
Caileigh's four front teeth are now loose; all together. So with any luck she will lose all 4 center teeth and will be drinking her meals through a straw until the new teeth come in. And while we're on the conversation of teeth...who in the world told these kids at school that the tooth fairy give a $1 per tooth???!!! I remember getting a dime or maybe a quarter!!
Braedon went to the big boy toilet yesterday and two days ago. All by himself!!!! Then today he cried and screamed at the idea of even thinking about going to the bathroom and sitting on the toilet. I am so ready for him to be potty trained!! His poor bottom has been so sensitive and anything in his diaper causes sores right now. Plus the cut in groceries would be nice too!
Caileigh got all A's on her report card, has been doing karate and takes her first belt test next week and this week has been in a dance camp with a local touring ballet company Ballet Emmanuel. She is having so much fun and Friday will dance in their concert! Can't wait to see it!!
Ok, going to try and go back to bed now and sleep. Goodnight!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Full Day and a Wonderful Cause
I had my photography class today! It was so much fun, so exciting and so rejeuvenating to do something for me, something I have a passion for. I have so many ideas about how I would like to use my love for photography, I am praying God will give me guidance on how I can use it to honor Him.
Soon this blog will have MUCH more color on it as I will be adding so many photographs and would love comments/tips on what I post (please be respectful though, this is my art and I am putting my heart into it).
I took my mom out for a bit (they have let her come home with very strict rules to stay calm, relax and stick to her diet) to get some fresh air and enjoy the nice weather we are enjoying this week. I can't believe that Wednesday it should be 70! I so pray this weather sticks around through next week; I would love to spend spring break outside with the kids!!
Today was our last ballet class for this 8 week session at the elementary school. Tons of moms came to watch...would have been a great day to actually have something concrete planned but I think we made the best of it!
Tonight my heart is very heavy (like I literally am having a pressure in my chest that I get when I am stressed or worried for an extended amount of time) for Japan, for our nation, for this world we live on. There are so many ironic events that have happened recently that keep me pondering Revelations and how to discuss that with a 6 year old. Hmmmm, still thinking on that one, any advice is welcome. :)
A friend of mine, Renee posted a story this evening about "Beth". She is a mom of three living here in the Springs. Renee met her through Mary Kay, God led her straight to this wonderful woman. She is a dancer and I don't think it would be a form acceptable at the studio I teach at. She desperately wants out but cannot even afford the bills she currently has and is receiving shut-off notices from the utility companies.
Tonight Beth gave her life and heart over to Christ. Through tears she shed herself of all the guilt, pain, fear, and struggles of her past. Renee is trying to help collect the money needed to keep her utilities on and to help her find a way out of her current job field. They are meeting tomorrow to discuss this further. Renee would like to help and has set up a fun on her blog. I have attached the Chip-In widget here as well. I know this is a sudden request but really is not that much to put together. Chip-In is completely confidential and secure so your information will not be passed on to anyone. Please pray for Beth as she begins her knew life and pray God would allow enough people to bring together enough money to help give this mama a fresh start.
Soon this blog will have MUCH more color on it as I will be adding so many photographs and would love comments/tips on what I post (please be respectful though, this is my art and I am putting my heart into it).
I took my mom out for a bit (they have let her come home with very strict rules to stay calm, relax and stick to her diet) to get some fresh air and enjoy the nice weather we are enjoying this week. I can't believe that Wednesday it should be 70! I so pray this weather sticks around through next week; I would love to spend spring break outside with the kids!!
Today was our last ballet class for this 8 week session at the elementary school. Tons of moms came to watch...would have been a great day to actually have something concrete planned but I think we made the best of it!
Tonight my heart is very heavy (like I literally am having a pressure in my chest that I get when I am stressed or worried for an extended amount of time) for Japan, for our nation, for this world we live on. There are so many ironic events that have happened recently that keep me pondering Revelations and how to discuss that with a 6 year old. Hmmmm, still thinking on that one, any advice is welcome. :)
A friend of mine, Renee posted a story this evening about "Beth". She is a mom of three living here in the Springs. Renee met her through Mary Kay, God led her straight to this wonderful woman. She is a dancer and I don't think it would be a form acceptable at the studio I teach at. She desperately wants out but cannot even afford the bills she currently has and is receiving shut-off notices from the utility companies.
Tonight Beth gave her life and heart over to Christ. Through tears she shed herself of all the guilt, pain, fear, and struggles of her past. Renee is trying to help collect the money needed to keep her utilities on and to help her find a way out of her current job field. They are meeting tomorrow to discuss this further. Renee would like to help and has set up a fun on her blog. I have attached the Chip-In widget here as well. I know this is a sudden request but really is not that much to put together. Chip-In is completely confidential and secure so your information will not be passed on to anyone. Please pray for Beth as she begins her knew life and pray God would allow enough people to bring together enough money to help give this mama a fresh start.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
True Love
I can't sleep so I am blogging a thought I just shared with a friend. It is a thought my sister shared with me this past week on love. I hope it speaks to you like it did to me.
My sister and I were talking about relationships this past week and the sometimes unhealthy "in love" feelings we can have for a man. Of course we all know that the Bible teaches us to put our love and devotion to God first, our husband second and our children/family/friends third. How many of us have really sat and thought this one through??
I know this is a complex thought when just blurted out there like I have above, so I would like to break it down the way my sister did.
First of all, God wants us to love our husbands. He wants us to follow our spouse and allow him to lead our family unit through faith, finances and daily decisions. While we are to love our husband and follow our husband we are not to allow our husband to control our devotion. When we try to take the steering wheel of our life away from God and give it to our husband, to man.....it is disastrous.
While we are to follow our husbands leadership I am reminded of what my mom would always tell me about peer pressure "If they jumped off a bridge would you do it?" We are to follow our husbands as long as their path is pleasing to God and follows His commands. Ultimately God is to be in control.
When we forget that God is in control we begin to rely on our husband to fix everything, answer every problem, love every fiber of our being. That is putting a lot of pressure on our spouse! That is not allowing him to be the man God wants him to be because he is too focused on striving for perfection. We are setting our spouse and ourselves up for failure.
Secondly our whole love is for God. It is only right, only healthy that our aching love, the love that comes with painful yearning and desire to please be protected and set aside for Him. God is our Heavenly husband. We are to desire to please Him and love Him with every fiber of our being. Our actions should reflect that devotion and love.
After we have given of ourselves and our hearts to the Lord, then it is right to give our love to our husbands; and only in a married union that is built upon the Rock. Only then will our need to please our husband be healthy because our need to follow Christ is already being met.
Only then can we realize what a healthy union and devotion to our earthly mate should really and truly be. Only then can our false expectations of our relationships with men be put to rest. Only then can God begin to work within us to be His light to the world and an encouragement to our husbands.
My sister said, "The song saysbut that's not true. You need more than that and it was always intended to be more than that." Once we have God and our love for Him is right, then our devotion to our husbands will fall into place.
I hope this helps someone out there. It really struck me after we hung up how many times I am more worried about whether Soapy is happy; if I am making him happy, if I am pleasing him. I realize from time to time how I have been more worried about his approval instead of His approval; times I lean to Soapy for comfort and protection instead of my Heavenly Father. That is not healthy and is something I need to fix. It results in disappointment that Soapy couldn't live up to my expectations but how could he? That isn't fair to desire him to take the hole that was only meant to be filled by God.
Tonight I am going to pray God helps me preserve that hole just for Him. Tonight I will sleep well knowing God's arms are around me instead of feeling the "need" for my husbands' arms around me to keep me safe.
My sister and I were talking about relationships this past week and the sometimes unhealthy "in love" feelings we can have for a man. Of course we all know that the Bible teaches us to put our love and devotion to God first, our husband second and our children/family/friends third. How many of us have really sat and thought this one through??
I know this is a complex thought when just blurted out there like I have above, so I would like to break it down the way my sister did.
First of all, God wants us to love our husbands. He wants us to follow our spouse and allow him to lead our family unit through faith, finances and daily decisions. While we are to love our husband and follow our husband we are not to allow our husband to control our devotion. When we try to take the steering wheel of our life away from God and give it to our husband, to man.....it is disastrous.
While we are to follow our husbands leadership I am reminded of what my mom would always tell me about peer pressure "If they jumped off a bridge would you do it?" We are to follow our husbands as long as their path is pleasing to God and follows His commands. Ultimately God is to be in control.
When we forget that God is in control we begin to rely on our husband to fix everything, answer every problem, love every fiber of our being. That is putting a lot of pressure on our spouse! That is not allowing him to be the man God wants him to be because he is too focused on striving for perfection. We are setting our spouse and ourselves up for failure.
Secondly our whole love is for God. It is only right, only healthy that our aching love, the love that comes with painful yearning and desire to please be protected and set aside for Him. God is our Heavenly husband. We are to desire to please Him and love Him with every fiber of our being. Our actions should reflect that devotion and love.
After we have given of ourselves and our hearts to the Lord, then it is right to give our love to our husbands; and only in a married union that is built upon the Rock. Only then will our need to please our husband be healthy because our need to follow Christ is already being met.
Only then can we realize what a healthy union and devotion to our earthly mate should really and truly be. Only then can our false expectations of our relationships with men be put to rest. Only then can God begin to work within us to be His light to the world and an encouragement to our husbands.
My sister said, "The song says
I hope this helps someone out there. It really struck me after we hung up how many times I am more worried about whether Soapy is happy; if I am making him happy, if I am pleasing him. I realize from time to time how I have been more worried about his approval instead of His approval; times I lean to Soapy for comfort and protection instead of my Heavenly Father. That is not healthy and is something I need to fix. It results in disappointment that Soapy couldn't live up to my expectations but how could he? That isn't fair to desire him to take the hole that was only meant to be filled by God.
Tonight I am going to pray God helps me preserve that hole just for Him. Tonight I will sleep well knowing God's arms are around me instead of feeling the "need" for my husbands' arms around me to keep me safe.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Praising God Tonight
Sorry for the few day absence of updates.
MOM IS HOME!!!
The doctors discharged her tonight and my dad was able to bring her home. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that she began to turn the corner suddenly. The specialist came in Tuesday and layed it on the line how she was most likely going to lose her colon or worse. I think it sparked a sense of urgency in her to pull herself up and just do it!
They can't re-test her level of infection for another 2 weeks and they can't really get a good read right now of the effects this has had on her colon long term but for right now her colon is beginning to function again! They were able to wean her off of the iv's last night so today she did everything by mouth.
She has VERY strict instructions to stay in bed, relax and rest; to eat and take the new antibiotic they have her on (which is severely more potent than the last and she's on a double dose of it each day) and be careful around others. She is not in total isolation but if symptoms return she is to head back in, she is to be very careful washing and contact with others (That they then go wash as well).
Thank you to everyone who has been praying. I ask that you continue to pray for her recovery and that the lasting effects would not be severe. There was concern over the infection spreading and the amount of infection becoming cancerous later. Her risk of getting this again now is astronomically great! If she were to catch this again, she would not be so lucky as she was this time.
Thanks everyone, God Bless you all and goodnight! :)
MOM IS HOME!!!
The doctors discharged her tonight and my dad was able to bring her home. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that she began to turn the corner suddenly. The specialist came in Tuesday and layed it on the line how she was most likely going to lose her colon or worse. I think it sparked a sense of urgency in her to pull herself up and just do it!
They can't re-test her level of infection for another 2 weeks and they can't really get a good read right now of the effects this has had on her colon long term but for right now her colon is beginning to function again! They were able to wean her off of the iv's last night so today she did everything by mouth.
She has VERY strict instructions to stay in bed, relax and rest; to eat and take the new antibiotic they have her on (which is severely more potent than the last and she's on a double dose of it each day) and be careful around others. She is not in total isolation but if symptoms return she is to head back in, she is to be very careful washing and contact with others (That they then go wash as well).
Thank you to everyone who has been praying. I ask that you continue to pray for her recovery and that the lasting effects would not be severe. There was concern over the infection spreading and the amount of infection becoming cancerous later. Her risk of getting this again now is astronomically great! If she were to catch this again, she would not be so lucky as she was this time.
Thanks everyone, God Bless you all and goodnight! :)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Urgent Prayers Needed
Please pray for my mom. The specialists pulled my Dad aside this morning to explain the severity of the situation. It was explained during rounds to my mom that she needs to eat so the nutrition can begin to clean out her colon. They've told her so far that her body has not responded to the antibiotics so they will be doubling up on her amount. They told her it's important to eat or she could end up having surgery on her colon.
***Translated to my Dad: We are increasing her doses of antibiotics because she hasn't responded in 48 hours. She NEEDS to eat immediately and frequently to have any chance at getting better. If she doesn't she will lose her colon entirely. There is a lot of infection in the descending colon that could spread and if not successfully removed could turn cancerous. This is serious!
We have to try to keep her calm and relaxed. She needs to rest and she needs to eat through the pain she will experience with eating. She has to or it is going to drastically change her life. They haven't told her all of the facts because they don't want to scare her yet and have her upset and worried to the point of doing more harm than good.
I am scared. I won't lie. I just lost my grandfather this past week. I couldn't be there. I can't be with my mom because she is highly contagious and I have to be careful not to spread it to the kids. My sister and I have had this horrible intuition that something is wrong. We are trying to pray through those feelings and not let Satan take over our running our imaginations wild.
Please just pray.
***Translated to my Dad: We are increasing her doses of antibiotics because she hasn't responded in 48 hours. She NEEDS to eat immediately and frequently to have any chance at getting better. If she doesn't she will lose her colon entirely. There is a lot of infection in the descending colon that could spread and if not successfully removed could turn cancerous. This is serious!
We have to try to keep her calm and relaxed. She needs to rest and she needs to eat through the pain she will experience with eating. She has to or it is going to drastically change her life. They haven't told her all of the facts because they don't want to scare her yet and have her upset and worried to the point of doing more harm than good.
I am scared. I won't lie. I just lost my grandfather this past week. I couldn't be there. I can't be with my mom because she is highly contagious and I have to be careful not to spread it to the kids. My sister and I have had this horrible intuition that something is wrong. We are trying to pray through those feelings and not let Satan take over our running our imaginations wild.
Please just pray.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Quick Prayer Request
My mom went into the hospital last night. Saturday she and my dad flew back from Arizona, my grandpa passed away and was buried Saturday morning. While it may seem harsh that they would fly out that afternoon, my mom has been very sick for a long time and has been putting off going to the doctor due to her parents' health.
She has spent the entire last two weeks mostly in the bathroom (a very constant occurrence) and has not been able to keep anything down. Sunday afternoon (they got in at 3:30 am) my dad had her at the ER where they admitted her. After a CT scan, blood and stool samples were taken, it was discovered that she is suffering from a combination of things: Irritable Bowel Disease (which I have found is worse than IBS), ulcerate colitis (or something medical like that), and C diff (a bacterial infection of the colon).
The C diff infection is quite progressed and unfortunately part of the treatment she has unknowingly been doing for the last two weeks without any improvement. She is to be on a mostly liquid diet consisting of items higher in sugar and sodium; no dairy or solid foods of any kind. She can have chicken broth and a small amount of rice but the bouillon cubes won't stay down.
This afternoon they were optimistic that even though she has apparently had this highly contagious infection for a while she was getting better. This evening things have taken a sharp turn downward and they are preparing a mix of narcotics partly to relieve her pain and partly to knock her out a bit.
C diff is highly contagious; I cannot go down there and risk bringing it back to the kids. Due to her autoimmune disorders (which are advanced) her body will definitely have a much harder time recovering. Right now they are just hoping she starts to turn the corner which is not guaranteed with the advanced state of the infection and all the other circumstances.
Please pray for my family. There has been so much sadness and loss the last month. We are all so emotionally exhausted. Please pray that God would put His healing hand on my mother and take this infection away. Please pray that my dad doesn't get it since he is there with her and that the rest of us stay clean of it too. Please pray for a safe return for my husband from work this week because I just don't think I can take much more growing and stretching.
She has spent the entire last two weeks mostly in the bathroom (a very constant occurrence) and has not been able to keep anything down. Sunday afternoon (they got in at 3:30 am) my dad had her at the ER where they admitted her. After a CT scan, blood and stool samples were taken, it was discovered that she is suffering from a combination of things: Irritable Bowel Disease (which I have found is worse than IBS), ulcerate colitis (or something medical like that), and C diff (a bacterial infection of the colon).
The C diff infection is quite progressed and unfortunately part of the treatment she has unknowingly been doing for the last two weeks without any improvement. She is to be on a mostly liquid diet consisting of items higher in sugar and sodium; no dairy or solid foods of any kind. She can have chicken broth and a small amount of rice but the bouillon cubes won't stay down.
This afternoon they were optimistic that even though she has apparently had this highly contagious infection for a while she was getting better. This evening things have taken a sharp turn downward and they are preparing a mix of narcotics partly to relieve her pain and partly to knock her out a bit.
C diff is highly contagious; I cannot go down there and risk bringing it back to the kids. Due to her autoimmune disorders (which are advanced) her body will definitely have a much harder time recovering. Right now they are just hoping she starts to turn the corner which is not guaranteed with the advanced state of the infection and all the other circumstances.
Please pray for my family. There has been so much sadness and loss the last month. We are all so emotionally exhausted. Please pray that God would put His healing hand on my mother and take this infection away. Please pray that my dad doesn't get it since he is there with her and that the rest of us stay clean of it too. Please pray for a safe return for my husband from work this week because I just don't think I can take much more growing and stretching.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Back To School
Only this time it is by choice and for something fun!!
On March 14th I will be taking a photography class of sorts with a wonderful friend of mine Kristi heading up the entire event! Between now and then we will be given assignments to complete and post to our group; of course I will post them here and over the next few weeks we can see how my skills evolve. I am so excited and charged for this project!
I love to take pictures; I always have. Even in college when I only had a P&S I would play with any setting I possibly had control over just to see what I could create. I have taken some pictures for friends along the way for fun and some to help capture memories of events. This past Christmas I had two "clients" that graciously let me play around with my camera while using their families as my subject material. I got a lot of great shots (some nightmare shots too) and learned tons.
The rough thing is, some of the things I am learning, I am not quite sure why they give the effects they do. I am hoping to answer some of these questions over the next few weeks. I need to start keeping a journal of every picture I take between now and then, what settings I used and questions I have about the outcome. This will really help organize my questions for class.
Sit tight and come back over the next few weeks to see all of the art I capture!
'Night!
PS-If there is anyone out there who would like to give me some practice let me know! I am always looking for volunteers. :)
On March 14th I will be taking a photography class of sorts with a wonderful friend of mine Kristi heading up the entire event! Between now and then we will be given assignments to complete and post to our group; of course I will post them here and over the next few weeks we can see how my skills evolve. I am so excited and charged for this project!
I love to take pictures; I always have. Even in college when I only had a P&S I would play with any setting I possibly had control over just to see what I could create. I have taken some pictures for friends along the way for fun and some to help capture memories of events. This past Christmas I had two "clients" that graciously let me play around with my camera while using their families as my subject material. I got a lot of great shots (some nightmare shots too) and learned tons.
The rough thing is, some of the things I am learning, I am not quite sure why they give the effects they do. I am hoping to answer some of these questions over the next few weeks. I need to start keeping a journal of every picture I take between now and then, what settings I used and questions I have about the outcome. This will really help organize my questions for class.
Sit tight and come back over the next few weeks to see all of the art I capture!
'Night!
PS-If there is anyone out there who would like to give me some practice let me know! I am always looking for volunteers. :)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Mondays, I don't care for you!
Alternatively titled "My Not Me Monday"
I did NOT watch in slow motion as my son flushed a whole roll of toilet paper down the toilet this morning.
It most certainly was NOT in the master bathroom where I have forgotten several times to grab the plunger before heading upstairs tohide get ready to leave.
I did not lose half of my daughter's homework last night including her book orders and science club permission slip.
I of courseam still not a loser parent and can't find them found them right away.
I did not let my son run around with a random stick in between his legs, or pour color crayons all over the floor, or nearly undress himself just so I could take ballet this morning. Not me, no my children behave and are well mannered. They always sit still and entertain themselves quietly while Mommy is working.
I did not then put my son in the car and let him fall asleep from which I immediately put him to bed once we got home without changing his diaper just so I could have 30 minutes to clean before needing to head out again.
I did not take said soundly sleeping son and carry him to the car and buckle him in. Only once buckled and still soundly sleeping realize the smell and dampness was not sweat but urine on his jeans. I did not then put clean clothes into the car and wait to change him once at the school because I was running late to teach.
I did not arrive at the school and attempt to change him in his seat.
I did not pick him up to move him to the front where there was more room and immediately lock my keys (both sets mind you) in the car.
I did not bribe my son to sit quietly and watch while I taught 16 little girls how to be ballerinas. I would never wait to give him his lunch until we arrived at the school so he would sit and eat instead of run loose like the wild 2 year old that he is.
I did not just let my son sit at his bedroom door and cry on and off for the last 45 minutes (he fell asleep before I started this post, I checked) while I worked on Partylite to try and break him of his late night parties he recently seems to love. (How do you get a child to go back to bed on time after being sick...especially when they are sick every other week!?)
I think that pretty much sums up what I did not do today. What did you not do?? :)
I did NOT watch in slow motion as my son flushed a whole roll of toilet paper down the toilet this morning.
It most certainly was NOT in the master bathroom where I have forgotten several times to grab the plunger before heading upstairs to
I did not lose half of my daughter's homework last night including her book orders and science club permission slip.
I of course
I did not let my son run around with a random stick in between his legs, or pour color crayons all over the floor, or nearly undress himself just so I could take ballet this morning. Not me, no my children behave and are well mannered. They always sit still and entertain themselves quietly while Mommy is working.
I did not then put my son in the car and let him fall asleep from which I immediately put him to bed once we got home without changing his diaper just so I could have 30 minutes to clean before needing to head out again.
I did not take said soundly sleeping son and carry him to the car and buckle him in. Only once buckled and still soundly sleeping realize the smell and dampness was not sweat but urine on his jeans. I did not then put clean clothes into the car and wait to change him once at the school because I was running late to teach.
I did not arrive at the school and attempt to change him in his seat.
I did not pick him up to move him to the front where there was more room and immediately lock my keys (both sets mind you) in the car.
I did not bribe my son to sit quietly and watch while I taught 16 little girls how to be ballerinas. I would never wait to give him his lunch until we arrived at the school so he would sit and eat instead of run loose like the wild 2 year old that he is.
I did not just let my son sit at his bedroom door and cry on and off for the last 45 minutes (he fell asleep before I started this post, I checked) while I worked on Partylite to try and break him of his late night parties he recently seems to love. (How do you get a child to go back to bed on time after being sick...especially when they are sick every other week!?)
I think that pretty much sums up what I did not do today. What did you not do?? :)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Garmaam, food, MckMama and Friends
Two nights ago, my friend Renee, invited me to her house for an international skyping adventure.
Since my husband was out of town, I bundled up the kids for a pajama party! We swung through Target (since I didn't have enough time to finish the treat I initially set out to take) and grabbed some salsa and guacamole for the chips and a pretty cake (though not anywhere as good as my friend Karina's)
Braedon slept through the entire evening which is unheard of. Caileigh helped play with Dani (it really was such a chore for her...um...not really!)
We had a great time talking with Jennifer and the group from the village joining her. It was so much fun to think we were talking with a group on the other side of the country right through the computer and that the other side was not in a booming metropolis!
The entire evening was so much fun. We laughed and giggled and spent time talking about our blogs and how to design them. It was a wonderful and relaxing night.
Head on over to Renee's blog to watch a video clip Renee set up of the entire phone call!
Enjoy!
Since my husband was out of town, I bundled up the kids for a pajama party! We swung through Target (since I didn't have enough time to finish the treat I initially set out to take) and grabbed some salsa and guacamole for the chips and a pretty cake (though not anywhere as good as my friend Karina's)
Braedon slept through the entire evening which is unheard of. Caileigh helped play with Dani (it really was such a chore for her...um...not really!)
We had a great time talking with Jennifer and the group from the village joining her. It was so much fun to think we were talking with a group on the other side of the country right through the computer and that the other side was not in a booming metropolis!
The entire evening was so much fun. We laughed and giggled and spent time talking about our blogs and how to design them. It was a wonderful and relaxing night.
Head on over to Renee's blog to watch a video clip Renee set up of the entire phone call!
Enjoy!
It's Just Not Fun!--mix and ramble
Those are the words I hear from my daughter quite frequently when she is opposed to obeying and following directions.
"Why didn't you put your things away when you brought them to your room like I asked instead of throwing them on your bed?" -- "Because it's just not fun Mom."
Sometimes it just drives me crazy! Then I find myself telling God the same thing. I hear Him echo "Just wait, be patient and content, you will see everything work out in MY time."
I know God but it's just not fun!
I have not slept the last 3 days, actually sleeping for me for a while has been a difficult and unpleasant task. I am exhausted but toss all night long. The last 3 days my mind has been so preoccupied.
My grandfather is in hospice. He has cancer; has had cancer for the better part of 15 or so years. I remember he lost a kidney to cancer when I was 13. When I was 21 he was diagnosed with lung cancer which spread to tumors on his heart as well. He has defied all odds medically speaking and is even in the medical journal from 3 years ago. It's amazing God has kept him here this long and it makes me wonder why.
There are so many things I could see God using this time for. Some of which have happened and others, I realize it's not God's will. The doctors aren't giving him more than a day or two at best now. They made the decision to increase his morphine Friday so he is no longer eating or drinking; it shouldn't be too much longer.
While I am relieved he will not be suffering anymore, I have so much reserved hurt and pain from our relationship and pain I have harbored from the past. Prayers that for whatever reason were not answered how I wanted them to be and that is hard to understand.
I am anxious today for God to take him and that makes me feel guilty. You see, my mom is out there with my aunt right now. I took them to the airport Wednesday to fly out to Arizona. My mom is also very sick and was scheduled for a series of tests and scans to be done this past Friday. She has not had them done. My dad fears she has a bleeding ulcer (She's had one before and the doctors are now VERY concerned as she has been having complications since Christmas) and it is to the point where she cannot get up on her feet for more than a few minutes. ***may be TMI but this is a journal for me and she could use prayers*** She is passing redigested blood (black stools) and this is constant. My dad is worried she will be in the hospital too. Even more so, he is worried because as a boy he sat by his dad as he died and this was the last week's events before his death.
She refuses to be seen until after the funeral because she knows they will admit her. I am worried and trying to pray it over to God. I want to be with her but I can't take Caileigh out of school. Caileigh has been sick nearly every week, throwing up and then better immediatley following; that has me worried but the doctors think it's just coinsidence.
Soapy is always gone and that has me strung out a bit (As I know it does him too). I miss him. I want a shoulder to cry on. I want him here to make the decisions so I don't have to. I am trying to find care support for the kids while I teach after-school but it has become difficult so I am taking Caileigh with me and that means pulling her out 15 minutes early. I am worried that is going to get me in trouble but I don't know what else to do. I can't stop working, we need the money. I can't leave here there in the office for 30 minutes either.
I want to be able to turn all the worry over to God. I know I NEED to do this. I just don't know how. I need to get up and get ready to take us all to church, I want to be in church to feel a sense of peace but honestly I don't want to be around people. I don't want to pretend to smile and laugh when others ask "So how's your day?". I want to tell them honestly how it is without the shocked looks or the avoiding responses.
"I AM OK!" I really want to scream! I am just stuck in a spot right now that has me growing and sometimes it's "just not fun". I'm tired and just need some answers. I will be ok, God's will ultimately will take over. My grandpa will go to heaven soon and I will be able to work things out emotionally over time and with God's grace. If things get much worse I am relying on people around her to force her to the hospital. God will lead me to discover what Caileigh's problem is and why Braedon's doctors can't diagnos him. He will bring my husband home and help me move forward.
Right now it is just tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel and keep my mind focused on that light. I will be ok, "It's just not fun".
"Why didn't you put your things away when you brought them to your room like I asked instead of throwing them on your bed?" -- "Because it's just not fun Mom."
Sometimes it just drives me crazy! Then I find myself telling God the same thing. I hear Him echo "Just wait, be patient and content, you will see everything work out in MY time."
I know God but it's just not fun!
I have not slept the last 3 days, actually sleeping for me for a while has been a difficult and unpleasant task. I am exhausted but toss all night long. The last 3 days my mind has been so preoccupied.
My grandfather is in hospice. He has cancer; has had cancer for the better part of 15 or so years. I remember he lost a kidney to cancer when I was 13. When I was 21 he was diagnosed with lung cancer which spread to tumors on his heart as well. He has defied all odds medically speaking and is even in the medical journal from 3 years ago. It's amazing God has kept him here this long and it makes me wonder why.
There are so many things I could see God using this time for. Some of which have happened and others, I realize it's not God's will. The doctors aren't giving him more than a day or two at best now. They made the decision to increase his morphine Friday so he is no longer eating or drinking; it shouldn't be too much longer.
While I am relieved he will not be suffering anymore, I have so much reserved hurt and pain from our relationship and pain I have harbored from the past. Prayers that for whatever reason were not answered how I wanted them to be and that is hard to understand.
I am anxious today for God to take him and that makes me feel guilty. You see, my mom is out there with my aunt right now. I took them to the airport Wednesday to fly out to Arizona. My mom is also very sick and was scheduled for a series of tests and scans to be done this past Friday. She has not had them done. My dad fears she has a bleeding ulcer (She's had one before and the doctors are now VERY concerned as she has been having complications since Christmas) and it is to the point where she cannot get up on her feet for more than a few minutes. ***may be TMI but this is a journal for me and she could use prayers*** She is passing redigested blood (black stools) and this is constant. My dad is worried she will be in the hospital too. Even more so, he is worried because as a boy he sat by his dad as he died and this was the last week's events before his death.
She refuses to be seen until after the funeral because she knows they will admit her. I am worried and trying to pray it over to God. I want to be with her but I can't take Caileigh out of school. Caileigh has been sick nearly every week, throwing up and then better immediatley following; that has me worried but the doctors think it's just coinsidence.
Soapy is always gone and that has me strung out a bit (As I know it does him too). I miss him. I want a shoulder to cry on. I want him here to make the decisions so I don't have to. I am trying to find care support for the kids while I teach after-school but it has become difficult so I am taking Caileigh with me and that means pulling her out 15 minutes early. I am worried that is going to get me in trouble but I don't know what else to do. I can't stop working, we need the money. I can't leave here there in the office for 30 minutes either.
I want to be able to turn all the worry over to God. I know I NEED to do this. I just don't know how. I need to get up and get ready to take us all to church, I want to be in church to feel a sense of peace but honestly I don't want to be around people. I don't want to pretend to smile and laugh when others ask "So how's your day?". I want to tell them honestly how it is without the shocked looks or the avoiding responses.
"I AM OK!" I really want to scream! I am just stuck in a spot right now that has me growing and sometimes it's "just not fun". I'm tired and just need some answers. I will be ok, God's will ultimately will take over. My grandpa will go to heaven soon and I will be able to work things out emotionally over time and with God's grace. If things get much worse I am relying on people around her to force her to the hospital. God will lead me to discover what Caileigh's problem is and why Braedon's doctors can't diagnos him. He will bring my husband home and help me move forward.
Right now it is just tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel and keep my mind focused on that light. I will be ok, "It's just not fun".
Sunday, January 30, 2011
My first family photo session
This was my very first photography subject outside my own family. Isn't she adorable?!?
This is R, who I have known for years. She has such spirit and love; absolutely sweet and it was totally sweet to have the opportunity to take her family's pictures for their Christmas gifts and cards.
Thank You!!!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Getting back to the heart of things
Tonight I resumed a dance class that I started teaching at the end of summer. It is for preschool through first grade girls...or boys, but they tend to dance with "Mr. Mike" more; he's their hero. :)
The class was wonderful, the girls were so much fun (I teach all of them at other times too). We had a great time making up our own dances in the dark, playing Red Light/Green Light with a bouncy ball between our legs/arms/neck/shoulder/chin/feet...pretty much anywhere and anyhow I could think of.
After class was over and they left, I jumped into a dance class for myself for a bit. It is the first class that I have been to in atleast a year. That is sad. But what isn't sad and very exciting, is how much fun it was!!! I MISSED taking class. I missed hurting and feeling like my legs had turned to jello. I missed the classical, delicate side of ballet that really inside is my internal makeup. It was so refreshing and was therapy for my heart. I know I have missed dancing for myself and I know that I missed the exercise and the peace ballet brings for me but I didn't realize how much.
I came home happy, truely happy. That, I have not been in a very very long time. It is almost as if I can leave all my hurt, stress and frustration on the floor and walk away. It is such an amazing sense of peace. I am so lucky to have my husband home where he could watch the kids for me.
Tonight we had a great meal post dance. I made Taco Soup and Meatballs the other day with the 2lbs of hamburger I had in the freezer. The soup was enough for us all to have a very filling dinner last night, and three bowls of soup for lunch today. The meatballs I froze until this morning and we had spagetti with meatballs for dinner. I have only made meatballs once in the last 8 years and it was a HUGE flop! Tonights meatballs?? Well, they were amazing! They were so good I couldn't believe it. I was so excited and felt like I had accomplished a huge task today!
In other news...our Christmas stuff is almost all put away. I know,it is WAY past Christmas but to say life has been full of poop would be an accurate description..and everything else that comes with passing sickness around to everyone atleast twice. Thankfully, I have bleached EVERYTHING in this house atleast twice this week. I am praying all the germs are gone!
Soapy applied for a job with the railroad that would be such an answer to prayer in so many ways. It would help out the financial aspect of our goals without requiring some drastic measures on my part and would keep him home A LOT more than he is right now. I am very welcomed to that idea.
Braedon now says, "Peace Out Yo" and it is the cutest thing! Caileigh used to say it and it was adorable too. He is also in the midst of the potty training struggle and I pray that we both make it to the other side of this alive.
Caileigh got her report card last Friday. She has received P+ on nearly everything which is the equivalent of an A+. In her gifted/talented class she has been marked mostly High with one High/Avg. She is doing so well and we are so very proud of her.
Well, I think that is it. I am going to go do a quick workout before my husband gets back from the store and then I am getting a massage...he promised and I am not going to let him back away!! :)
The class was wonderful, the girls were so much fun (I teach all of them at other times too). We had a great time making up our own dances in the dark, playing Red Light/Green Light with a bouncy ball between our legs/arms/neck/shoulder/chin/feet...pretty much anywhere and anyhow I could think of.
After class was over and they left, I jumped into a dance class for myself for a bit. It is the first class that I have been to in atleast a year. That is sad. But what isn't sad and very exciting, is how much fun it was!!! I MISSED taking class. I missed hurting and feeling like my legs had turned to jello. I missed the classical, delicate side of ballet that really inside is my internal makeup. It was so refreshing and was therapy for my heart. I know I have missed dancing for myself and I know that I missed the exercise and the peace ballet brings for me but I didn't realize how much.
I came home happy, truely happy. That, I have not been in a very very long time. It is almost as if I can leave all my hurt, stress and frustration on the floor and walk away. It is such an amazing sense of peace. I am so lucky to have my husband home where he could watch the kids for me.
Tonight we had a great meal post dance. I made Taco Soup and Meatballs the other day with the 2lbs of hamburger I had in the freezer. The soup was enough for us all to have a very filling dinner last night, and three bowls of soup for lunch today. The meatballs I froze until this morning and we had spagetti with meatballs for dinner. I have only made meatballs once in the last 8 years and it was a HUGE flop! Tonights meatballs?? Well, they were amazing! They were so good I couldn't believe it. I was so excited and felt like I had accomplished a huge task today!
In other news...our Christmas stuff is almost all put away. I know,it is WAY past Christmas but to say life has been full of poop would be an accurate description..and everything else that comes with passing sickness around to everyone atleast twice. Thankfully, I have bleached EVERYTHING in this house atleast twice this week. I am praying all the germs are gone!
Soapy applied for a job with the railroad that would be such an answer to prayer in so many ways. It would help out the financial aspect of our goals without requiring some drastic measures on my part and would keep him home A LOT more than he is right now. I am very welcomed to that idea.
Braedon now says, "Peace Out Yo" and it is the cutest thing! Caileigh used to say it and it was adorable too. He is also in the midst of the potty training struggle and I pray that we both make it to the other side of this alive.
Caileigh got her report card last Friday. She has received P+ on nearly everything which is the equivalent of an A+. In her gifted/talented class she has been marked mostly High with one High/Avg. She is doing so well and we are so very proud of her.
Well, I think that is it. I am going to go do a quick workout before my husband gets back from the store and then I am getting a massage...he promised and I am not going to let him back away!! :)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
So Tired and ready for BED
I think I may have some sort of bug...I am not sure if it's the flu as I only feel weak, extremely tired and cold a lot. I have no fever, no vomitting so that is good. Anyone else have these symptoms before??
It has been a long, long couple of days. Braedon seems to be completely off his schedule. He doesn't want to eat, sleep...fussy when playing. I am going to pass some of the fussiness off on the fact that he is indeed male so he automatically gets frustrated easily when things don't go his way. But his sleeping and eating??? That is weird.
He doesn't want any of his favorite foods. WHen he does want to eat he takes a bite or two and then gets frustrated and pushes it away. I haven't been able to get him to stay asleep until nearly 12:30 every night. Two nights ago he woke up at 2:30 screaming and when I finally went in there he was standing in the middle of his room clutching his puppy just screaming his heart out...needless to say it ended with him in bed with me for the remainder of the night.
We may also be back to his old health stuff. Last month, Dec 12th he woke up vomitting and began a week long stint of horrible stools. It went away, we prayed it was just a horrible bug that his body held onto for a longer period of time. Then yesterday it started back up and by today his poor little bottom looks as though it's been scalded. One cheek is raw and bleeding so diaper changes are miserable for both of us. This time he is much bigger and much stronger. He knows a bit more about hurt and I feel horrible holding him down to change him.
I am praying that the potty training we are working on doesn't stop and in fact progesses faster so maybe we can avoid the whole wiping of the bottom all together. I am just not brave enough yet to let him streak the house bottomless. We still have white carpet in parts of the house until Soapy and I can finish laying the wood floors....not fun to clean.
Good news, or at the very least optimistic, is a report on Hailey. I haven't talked to Robin tonight but as of this morning she posted on Facebook that the morning was starting well. They were with Hailey's first doctor and they absolutely loved him! Lets all pray for good results and moving forward in a diagnosis/cure!!
Well, I think that is it. I am going to go put myself in bed and pray everyone sleeps until the alarms go off in the morning for school!
It has been a long, long couple of days. Braedon seems to be completely off his schedule. He doesn't want to eat, sleep...fussy when playing. I am going to pass some of the fussiness off on the fact that he is indeed male so he automatically gets frustrated easily when things don't go his way. But his sleeping and eating??? That is weird.
He doesn't want any of his favorite foods. WHen he does want to eat he takes a bite or two and then gets frustrated and pushes it away. I haven't been able to get him to stay asleep until nearly 12:30 every night. Two nights ago he woke up at 2:30 screaming and when I finally went in there he was standing in the middle of his room clutching his puppy just screaming his heart out...needless to say it ended with him in bed with me for the remainder of the night.
We may also be back to his old health stuff. Last month, Dec 12th he woke up vomitting and began a week long stint of horrible stools. It went away, we prayed it was just a horrible bug that his body held onto for a longer period of time. Then yesterday it started back up and by today his poor little bottom looks as though it's been scalded. One cheek is raw and bleeding so diaper changes are miserable for both of us. This time he is much bigger and much stronger. He knows a bit more about hurt and I feel horrible holding him down to change him.
I am praying that the potty training we are working on doesn't stop and in fact progesses faster so maybe we can avoid the whole wiping of the bottom all together. I am just not brave enough yet to let him streak the house bottomless. We still have white carpet in parts of the house until Soapy and I can finish laying the wood floors....not fun to clean.
Good news, or at the very least optimistic, is a report on Hailey. I haven't talked to Robin tonight but as of this morning she posted on Facebook that the morning was starting well. They were with Hailey's first doctor and they absolutely loved him! Lets all pray for good results and moving forward in a diagnosis/cure!!
Well, I think that is it. I am going to go put myself in bed and pray everyone sleeps until the alarms go off in the morning for school!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Hailey's LOVE-A-THON
****UPDATE****
THANK YOU EVERYONE! We only have about 7 hours left before this Love-A-Thon completely closes. It surpassed my wildest expectations but then again, nothing is too big for God!
Thank you to everyone who has donated their money, prayers and help in so many ways. I know Robin is beyond words thankful! She and Hailey left today for Cleavland. I spoke with her for a few minutes yesterday and wanted to provide a short update as to their prayer needs.
Obviously they need prayers for travel, wisdom for her doctors, comfort for Hailey, a sense of peace and sanity for Robin, prayer that Jeremy and JJ are safe, happy and healthy while the family is apart. Robin shared that there is a possibility they will be doing some sort of exploritory surgery on Hailey's brain and that, as I can imagine, is very never wracking! If the doctors go down this path (which will only be decided after seeing and evaluating Hailey), Robin and Hailey could spend longer in Cleavland. Please pray that God allows these questions to be answered clearly and that the things necessary to extend their stay are provided in such a time that will allow Robin and Jeremy to feel confident that they can stretch their assets to cover it.
Thank you again to everyone who has read this story, passed on words of encouragement and prayers. I know Robin cherishes the positive comments on her blog; it gives her something to pick her spirits up and keep her going. If you have a moment, please stop by her blog every time you get a chance over the next few weeks and just drop her a little note.
THANKS! :)
Happy New Year everyone! I hope this post finds everyone well, refreshed from time together with family and friends and invigorated to begin a brand new year! We have had a wonderful few weeks together; enjoying time with both family and friends.
Today we spent some time in Denver with a dear friend of mine Robin Visbal and her husband Jeremy as they celebrated the birthday of their daughter Hailey.
Hailey is a beautiful, now 5 year old little girl. She is so sweet and has such a beautiful and kind spirit. Her favorite things to do are play with her "petshops", spend time with her family and wear anything pink!
Hailey suffers from Encephalopathy, seizures and alopecia. She recently spent nearly a week in the hospital (which included Christmas) due to one of these episodes. During an episode she is very much non responsive, combative and very unstable. To date the doctors are not sure what causes these episodes or how to control them.
This weekend Hailey and her mom have an opportunity to travel to Cleavland, Ohio to see a team of doctors that have accepted her into a diagnostic study. This is huge for Hailey! She needs this study, her family needs the hope that this study brings in finding answers and possibly a cure.
Unfortunately, due to Hailey being in the hospital and all that an extra stay brings financially, Hailey's parents are fighting to wrap up the financial aspect of this trip. All have left to cover is the stay (roughly $500) and money for food (for their time there, roughly $200). The trip and copays for the visit have already been taken care of and are non refundable.
I have attached links to Robin's blog, www.visbalfamily.blogspot.com , where you can read all about Hailey's history and medical conditions and to a Chip-In widget in my sidebar and in this post. You can donate directly to Hailey through this secure, online site. No one will be given your information and the money you send will go directly to helping Hailey's parents get her the care she needs and deserves.
Thank you SO VERY much for stepping in quickly and helping this family and this amazing little girl! I know they appreciate it beyond words!
THANK YOU EVERYONE! We only have about 7 hours left before this Love-A-Thon completely closes. It surpassed my wildest expectations but then again, nothing is too big for God!
Thank you to everyone who has donated their money, prayers and help in so many ways. I know Robin is beyond words thankful! She and Hailey left today for Cleavland. I spoke with her for a few minutes yesterday and wanted to provide a short update as to their prayer needs.
Obviously they need prayers for travel, wisdom for her doctors, comfort for Hailey, a sense of peace and sanity for Robin, prayer that Jeremy and JJ are safe, happy and healthy while the family is apart. Robin shared that there is a possibility they will be doing some sort of exploritory surgery on Hailey's brain and that, as I can imagine, is very never wracking! If the doctors go down this path (which will only be decided after seeing and evaluating Hailey), Robin and Hailey could spend longer in Cleavland. Please pray that God allows these questions to be answered clearly and that the things necessary to extend their stay are provided in such a time that will allow Robin and Jeremy to feel confident that they can stretch their assets to cover it.
Thank you again to everyone who has read this story, passed on words of encouragement and prayers. I know Robin cherishes the positive comments on her blog; it gives her something to pick her spirits up and keep her going. If you have a moment, please stop by her blog every time you get a chance over the next few weeks and just drop her a little note.
THANKS! :)
Happy New Year everyone! I hope this post finds everyone well, refreshed from time together with family and friends and invigorated to begin a brand new year! We have had a wonderful few weeks together; enjoying time with both family and friends.
Today we spent some time in Denver with a dear friend of mine Robin Visbal and her husband Jeremy as they celebrated the birthday of their daughter Hailey.
Hailey is a beautiful, now 5 year old little girl. She is so sweet and has such a beautiful and kind spirit. Her favorite things to do are play with her "petshops", spend time with her family and wear anything pink!
Hailey suffers from Encephalopathy, seizures and alopecia. She recently spent nearly a week in the hospital (which included Christmas) due to one of these episodes. During an episode she is very much non responsive, combative and very unstable. To date the doctors are not sure what causes these episodes or how to control them.
This weekend Hailey and her mom have an opportunity to travel to Cleavland, Ohio to see a team of doctors that have accepted her into a diagnostic study. This is huge for Hailey! She needs this study, her family needs the hope that this study brings in finding answers and possibly a cure.
Unfortunately, due to Hailey being in the hospital and all that an extra stay brings financially, Hailey's parents are fighting to wrap up the financial aspect of this trip. All have left to cover is the stay (roughly $500) and money for food (for their time there, roughly $200). The trip and copays for the visit have already been taken care of and are non refundable.
I have attached links to Robin's blog, www.visbalfamily.blogspot.com , where you can read all about Hailey's history and medical conditions and to a Chip-In widget in my sidebar and in this post. You can donate directly to Hailey through this secure, online site. No one will be given your information and the money you send will go directly to helping Hailey's parents get her the care she needs and deserves.
Thank you SO VERY much for stepping in quickly and helping this family and this amazing little girl! I know they appreciate it beyond words!
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